Breathing Proverbs 16 Today

“The heart of man plans his way but the Lord determines his steps”

Lawson

Last week John applied to two teaching jobs in our home town. Saturday, he got a call, and tomorrow he has an interview.

Since Saturday, we have been discussing what life might be like if we were to move back. Neither of us are the same people as we were when we left.  We are no longer the responsibility-less high school seniors that home might remember us as. The champions of social activities, the post- football game crowd, the I-am-gonna-sleep-through-the-afternoon-because-I-can-kids. We are now old and married and  no longer burn 5,000 calories sleeping, have fancy unframed degrees, and day jobs.

Highland Games 2010, William Wallace

We are not sure if we are even ready to leave our beloved Pullman. What would we do without dollar scoop thursday's at licks? Free movies at the CUB? Or beautiful rolling hills of wheat? (okay, I can trade wheat for water and mountains) We are not sure if we are ready to leave behind our beloved friends, the people that we have done life with for the past four and a half years. We are not sure if we can leave the places that have been the background for our sweetest memories. The Stephenson steps, where John said he loved me; the corner of hillside cafe, where we spent hours laughing and playing sudoku; outside U94, where we had our  first fight; and  Lawson Gardens, where we first kissed, where John proposed, and where we go back to to remember.

 Chess at One World Cafe

I squeeze Husband tight and kiss him goodbye. He hands me our house key. I say "goodluck! I am praying for you!", he says "I love you, and we're out of trash bags".  My stomach is in knots I want to cry, but I don't know why. Every moment since  saturday has seemed big and important. For some reason I want it to be etched in my mind, to be so vivid in my memory, that I can return to it and remember as I do other memories of us together. Ah yes, remember when we moved into our apartment? When you said that you would never go anywhere? When we looked at the stars and said that we loved God more than eachother,? When we cried on the kitchen floor and confessed our sin? When you put that ring on my finger and promised to be mine, and I yours?

Kamiak Butte

We don't know if John will get this job. We don't know what tomorrow or this week's verdict is going to be. And while I have knots in my stomach and I wish I could Google the answer to this life situation, I can't. It's one of those things where you truely must wait, and patiently be reminded that God has determined our steps. 

Freshmen us at Halloween

Obviously, God has had us covered from the start.